Seal today. Gone tomorrow.

Dressed in one hundred layers my dad and I hit the beach, as a piercing fresh wind muffles his intended aquatic speech. He springs on the shore excitedly talking, I think, about those seals, as I bury my fingers into the sand to see how tickly it feels.  Reluctantly he takes me home, the trip…

Muslin moves

Four men skip in unison with jingle bells on their socks, each waving a pair of muslins at a beard with a musical box.  The muslins are swapped for sticks and they all carry on carefree, hopping around all over the grass like they collectively need to pee.  What makes grown men want to Morris…

The exchange

“Now listen carefully” says dad “today we are going to learn about money, because the rate at which you are spending mine is anything but funny”. “A penny saved is a penny earned” he began like a misguided scholar, as a 1 year old child do I really need to know how the pound compares…

4 years

4 years ago today my mum and dad tied the knot, my grannies were delighted but I think my granda is still distraught. I’m sure glad they did and with love they soon made me, and the young and happy couple became my favourite family of three. Much has changed for mum and dad since…

Bubble trouble

Another enthusiastic lunge into an uncharted frontier, in pursuit of an inexplainable elusive floating sphere. No sooner had it appeared than it had already gone, burst crudely by a blade on the soon to be cut lawn. But then as if by magic a new one unexpectedly takes flight, as dad puffs his cheeks and…

Routine

Congratulations dad, you put me to bed, would you like a little certificate or shiny medal instead?  Forever seeking praise in constant need of recognition, luckily for you this is not a competition.  Mum does it all the time minus the daily press release, so stop taking selfies and get out and let me sleep…

Buy one get none free

“Oh my” groaned dad “please tell me those nappies were on sale”, but as he scrutinized the till receipt he turned a desperate shade of pale. Don’t worry dad I’ll make these last, for the next few days at least, and perhaps when we buy some more next week the price will have decreased. I…

Portion control

Forget the manageable chunks dad just give me the whole slice, mum’s asleep so drop the knife there is no need to be so precise. Don’t chop my banana don’t soldier my toast, don’t halve the portions of the food I love most. I’m a big girl now so I can eat just like you,…

Walk this way

One leg leaves the ground swinging forward from the hip, a pendulum set in motion of an inexhaustible walking trip. As every confident new stride gathers purpose and pace, another tear proudly trickles down dad’s emotional little face. I wish he would hold himself together this race has only just begun, there will be no…

Growing pains

Bringing up a baby sure is rather demanding, never in my life have I known to be so understanding.  Her appetite is insatiable, her entertainment needs scarcely achievable, her bowels are uncontrollable, her sleeping pattern barely believable.  Luckily for my parents that sounds like the opposite of me, although if you ask them loudly at…