Timekeeper

Clocks go back dad, yeah who cares, leave mum sleeping, let’s go down stairs. There is no time to lose, we have so much to do, get a mouthful of coffee to help pull you through. Time waits for no man and neither do I, I went to bed early perhaps you should give it…

MOOving on

Horny, smelly and altogether hairy, yet gentle and approachable and anything but scary. Wandering alone, seemingly void of any aim, chasing neither fortune, notoriety nor any fame. Mum says that dad has changed and he is a little different now, but when she met him in his college days he was just like this Highland…

The visit

I love going to see Granny and Granda, they scream when I walk through their door, my dad has been visiting for a decade now but never seen such a reaction before.  They bounce around like children as we sing and dance and play, and Granda tells me indiscreetly that he thinks that I should…

Bath tub tussle

This is it. Bath time. Where two worlds collide, I grab Percy by the flippers and try to tear him from the side. I splash him and bash him and stick bubbles up his nose, then I spin him round and round until his head becomes his toes. But still I kiss him gently after…

Fetch

Please buy me a dog dad but make sure that he’s real, so I can train him to sit and to walk at my heel. I’ll feed him and wash him and wipe his grubby paws, if he gets cold in the winter I’ll hug him till he thaws.  I’ll follow him everywhere and clean…

Builders…..but

“Wow, Mega Bloks” screeched dad “Come on, let’s go play”, how could I have known he meant for the rest of the bloody day? 16 hours into his unimaginative ‘mega build’, I offer my creative input and he seems a little less than thrilled. As he turns his back for the final piece, things change…

Read all about it, read all about it, read all about it

Dad and I sit down together every night before my bed, to see the same pages of the same books we’ve previously read. We know each and every word yet he remains absorbed by every turn, so I feign a little interest and will again tomorrow when we return. His voice becomes more hysterical as…

Sinking time

Mum looks out the window and lets out a now familiar sigh, as she watches dad and I construct an inedible muddy pie. “Right, that’s quite enough you two, go and wash your hands in the sink, really dad” she adds “don’t you ever just stop and think?” Soap and water collide and the dirt…

Clean and Jerk

We come to the park to relax, to laugh, to play, and dad springs out of the car like we’ve landed in LA. We’re miles from muscle beach dad and it’s only 6 degrees, I’m wearing two big jumpers and woolly tights around my knees.  Mum’s right dad you’re an idiot and we’re definitely not…

The Weather Man

Why are dad and I ‘resting’ under a tree? Allow me to explain, he insisted that we go walking despite mum telling him that it would rain. “Nonsense. Look at the sun” he bellowed “I won’t even need a coat”, another few inches of rainfall dad and we’ll need a bloody boat. Thankfully I remained…

Who’s afraid of the big bad woods?

“Those woods look dark and scary are we making a big mistake?, what if we meet a hungry tiger, grizzly bear or hissing snake?” My cousin tells me not to worry as she takes me by the arm, she says so long as we stick together she will keep me free from harm. My big…